Nights in White Satin, by Moody Blues, was my class’s Senior song. Our mascot was a knight, complete with a suit of armor in the school’s front entry. It represented our strength and invincibility. And no animals were harmed in our march to world domination. 😀
Four years ago I wrote an article about what the “opposite” of fear is. In it, I shared what others thought it might be, tossed around some of my ideas, and drew some analogies, but ultimately concluded I didn’t have any answers and didn’t think there was one correct answer.
Consider the path to my different conclusion. I’ve identified fear as the basis for most, if not all, of the issues my clients bring to me to help them work through so they can live more satisfying, successful, and joyous lives.
Lisa, my business strategy coach, saw a picture of my office’s reading corner posted on my Facebook page and asked about it. She learned about Joy, the fabric Phoenix sculpture, my Bo Eason football, and “the little man”.
I have a new hobby. It came out of surveying a dozen-or-so people about the course I was preparing to develop on helping people learn to overcome their fear. I have come to love asking people about their fear — what causes it, how they deal with it, how it shows up in their lives, and how it concerns them. These conversations are always interesting and challenge me to create an even better course.
It was the twins’ 10th birthday. Their parents had carefully selected their gifts and put them in the kids’ respective bedrooms when they were out. The excitement built as the kids returned from their outing and were told their gifts were in their rooms.
Your bottled emotions, the ones you try to ignore or stuff down, are the key to your success and ultimate joy.
That thought rocked my world a bit. It may have rocked yours. You may even have had a strong reaction against that statement.
A “Yes” response to a request tells others that you are cooperative, agreeable, and helpful. A “Yes” reaction shows enthusiasm, willingness, and drive. Well, that is at least what I grew up believing it to mean. I wanted to be all of those things so Yes was the default response to requests of and offers to me.
When my grandmother was diagnosed with her third kind of cancer in about 20 years, I had the epiphany that cancer comes from anger turned inward. Today I might say it’s anger that’s been buried or not dealt with. Because of her background, I knew she had lots of reasons to be angry. I loved her tremendously and wish she could have dealt with those emotions in a more constructive way, a way that wouldn’t have reduced the quality of her life.
I recently wrote an article, Keep Your Values Intact. Interestingly. When I started the article it was about how we settle, settling out of fear. We settle for how we let others treat us, how we don’t stand up for our rights, ourselves, and our beliefs.