Most of my clients feel stuck — they don’t quite know which way to turn to change their lives.
Fear grips them — fear of failure, fear of not being liked, fear of being alone, and even fear of change. They have found that a new mindset, new tools, and support have helped them overcome those things that have held them back. That work has given them new thoughts, and thus new realities.
Our thoughts create our realities.
Sometimes you know what you need to do to change, but just can’t quite take the necessary steps. Or, sometimes, you don’t know what you need to do, but your discomfort tells you need to do something.
One question for you: what is your reality right now? There’s at least one aspect you aren’t content with. Are you overweight? How are those joints feeling? Is your work:life balance satisfying? Are you speaking up for yourself enough? Are you overwhelmed by your to-do list, and how many things do you let others add to that list?
You probably are falling prey to the syndrome of Getting In Your Own Way. Why do you do that? What are you resisting? Do you like your reality so much that you are satisfied with blocking yourself from growing?
When you are in such a situation, it’s time for an external push.
Where will that external push come from? A book: who has the time? A TED talk: will that be enough? Drinks with a friend: will they really be able to give you the push you need?
Relying on friends and family may not be the right solution because it’s a big burden to put on them, and they may not be able to help anyway. Maybe you need more than a push. Maybe you need someone to help you dig below the surface to find out what’s holding you back and why you are getting in your own way.
Here are a few pointers on helping you get out of your way. First, to make any change, you have to have a deep, passionate desire for that change. Without that deep emotion the change won’t stick.
Then, use various tricks or techniques to keep the desired change present in your mind and your life. You can use alarms in your smartphone to remind you in intervals that help you embed the new idea, or habit. Use notes taped in strategic locations that remind you of your intentions. Also, have a buddy system whereby you can call for support as you need it.
Maybe there are classes available to help you learn more about the new change you are moving into, information that will help deepen the knowledge and the passion for the change. One class you can take that will help you start getting back into focus and balance is the LIFE basic course called Earth (because it gets you grounded).
Reading books can be a good idea for building knowledge on the subject, and that may fan the flames of passion, but make sure you take action with the book, like doing the suggested exercises.
One of the enemies of progress is “rational thought”. Rational thought — in the sense of rationalizing your behavior — can break through your convictions and keep you stuck. That’s what got you there in the first place, so why would it help you get out of that situation? It’s easy to confuse rational thinking with rationalizing. It takes someone experienced in guiding you through your maze of excuses and rationale.
You can have that kind of guidance. What a sense of relief it is to have an outside perspective like your coach working with you on breaking through your blocks and those barriers to growing and being the person you want to be.
With a new year fast approaching, look in the mirror and ask if you are the person you want to be next year. If the answer is an honest “no”, then act. Hire a coach so you can make the changes you know you want. You may find a few more changes you can make too.
Coaching is the best way I know of to get out of your own way. And that’s what I do — I help people overcome resistance, take action, and get out of their own way. You’ll love the process and insights you get along the way. Sign up for my 12-session coaching session and get out of your way!
Take a look at the LIFE Focus Coach page and see how we can work together to help you get out of your way in 2016!
Change your reality. Change your thoughts.