It took a few — well, ok, many — knocks to the head for me to realize the tool I developed for my Transform Fear Into Action course is helpful for more than its original intention. It’s not just a tool to deal with fear, it’s a tool to deal with life.
The acronym for my tool, CAPO, stands for Curious, Adaptable, Present, and Open.
You may know a capo for raising the pitch of a stringed instrument, like a guitar. Humans can have capos, or CAPOs, too for raising their pitch.
Full Year of Challenges
This past year has been a wild roller coaster for me. We sold our house, cars, and essentially everything we owned, re-homed our cats, and set off on a 2-month road trip to say goodbye to friends and family.
Our end point was to be Miami, where we were going to board a residential cruise ship and sail around the world for about three years. Two weeks into our road trip we learned they “delayed departure” — for eight months. We looked more closely and realized the ship would never sail. We canceled our reservation, but they have not returned our deposit as promised — evidence that it was a scam all along.
We moved our attention to another residential cruise ship company, this time doing much more thorough due diligence, including signing NDAs so we could look at their financials. We were satisfied and signed up.
It was planning to set sail in mid-May. All we had to do was bide our time until then.
So began a year of uncertainty, stops and starts, tests, and adventure.
- Hopping from hotel to hotel, not always knowing where we’d sleep as we drove around the country.
- Being gifted the opportunity to stay at an elite inn on the Cal Tech campus.
- Learning to live in a bright, noisy city after having lived in a dark, quiet country — we spent the winter in Las Vegas.
- Experiencing the Postcards From Earth show at the Sphere in Las Vegas.
- Meeting people we’d only been “efriends” and clients with prior.
- Seeing ‘The Book of Mormon’ on Broadway.Sailing from NYC to Southampton, England, to join our new home.
- Learning our new ship, the Villa Vie Odyssey, was going to be delayed a few weeks.
- Relocating to Belfast, Northern Ireland.
- Having a suitcase filled with Randy’s technology stolen while it was in the custody of Norwegian Cruise Lines.
- Living in the Canary Islands for three weeks — in a hotel that was part of a shopping center that hosted concerts on the weekends.
- Learning Odyssey was going to be delayed again. And again and again and again.
- Living in Belfast for three months.
- Visiting a sheep farm where we got to see the sheepdogs in action and the sheep be shorn.
- Touring the McConnell Distillery in the old gaol (British for jail).
- Learning Odyssey was going to be delayed a few more days. And a few more, and more, and more.
- Learning my Irish roots might not be Irish but Scottish, based on info learned during our walking tour of the Troubles.
- Getting to spend our days on the Odyssey, being fed and hanging out in our cabin and with our new neighbors.
- Learning Odyssey was going to be delayed again. And again and again and again.
- Being surrounded by riots and protests in reaction to the British murder of a child. Rioters blamed “immigrants” for the murder, though the murderer was a British citizen.
- Meeting the Lord Mayor of Belfast when he hosted a goodbye reception for us.
- Being “banned” from Odyssey for a couple of days for Sea Trials
- Having the ban from Odyssey be extended until she passed various certifications.
- Learning Odyssey was going to be delayed a few more days. And a few more, and more, and more.
- Taking a 70-mile walk from Belfast to Derry after another delay.
- And another delay.
- And another. Or two.
- Boarding Wednesday became Friday became Monday.
- Setting sail late Monday, after — you guessed it, delays.
- Anchoring in Belfast Lough for the night.
- Moving toward Belfast, but anchoring in Belfast Lough for the day and night.
- Sailing onward when?
All of this had my mood up and down. My patience wore thin more times than I would like to admit. My sense of humor abandoned me at times. And as I reflected on it all, I didn’t like seeing how my emotions were sometimes out of control.
Revelation
And then the epiphany. I realized CAPO isn’t just a tool for transforming fear into action. It’s a tool to help me live my life in control and joy. By adapting the formula’s perspective I’ve gotten new insight on life’s twists and turns, and I started implementing the tool immediately.
Conversations are more interesting when I get Curious about the other person’s perspective, not judgmental, dismissive, or impatient.
Experiences are more satisfying when I am Adaptable, not rigid, defensive, or resistant.
My world experience is more satisfying and educational when I stay Present with people, activities, and thoughts, not distracted, self-absorbed, or daydreaming.
I enjoy life more when I’m being Open to new ideas, possibilities, and life directions, not close-minded, shut down, or overly confident. This may be the hardest aspect of the tool to accomplish — unless I adopt the other three elements of CAPO. And when I stay Open, I’m a better person.
Applying CAPO isn’t just for transforming fear into action, it truly is a tool for a better life.
