You are the master of your life, doing what seems most prudent for your chosen life. Like being the captain of your ship, going where you want and need to. Right? That’s what you do to be joyous and energetic, to be productive and vital. Note that some masters and captains reach their destinations in good shape, and others — like the captain of the Titanic — don’t do as well.
It takes a little work to be sure you get to your intended destination rather than be sunk along the way by the icebergs of life. Luckily, it’s all in your mind, and you can work to provide the necessary course corrections. I’ll be glad to help, as you need.
The brain is “the guy in charge” and often referred to as your mind. The big question connecting your abilities to captain your ship, a.k.a. master your life, is whether your brain is healthy or not. The symptoms of brain ill-health include a strong negativity in your life, the inability to focus well, undisciplined thoughts, worsening memory, and poor decisions (which might be part of not sleeping well — another symptom).
I’ve been working on improving my brain for years, especially the past 15-20. Glimmers of awareness that it needed help shone in different ways — and sometimes I was together enough to notice. For starters, my head has been the most bumped and bruised part of my body, starting at about the age of two. I have:
▸ played games that involved scooting low but not having my head low enough
▸ jumped up and hit my head on low-hanging surfaces
▸ fallen and used it as a brake
▸ had whiplash from amusement park rides, tubing sudden stops, and a car accident.
My first awakening that I needed to do something about my head came when my memory for names collapsed — even with good friends. And at the same time I could tell my memory lived in a fog and words wouldn’t come to me during conversation. It was an awful feeling! I clearly wasn’t the master of my ship.
The first step I took was to go an an anti-aging nutrient regimen. That worked nicely, And that was the first step of many to come I took to help me not only get my mind back, but to also start working to improve my life with better brain function.
Here are some of the things I have learned along the way and practiced so I have the joy and energy I want now and as I approach “old age”.
A better brain creates a better life. Who wouldn’t want that? When you know better, you do better. Let’s talk about some problems and their solutions so you can make your brain — and thus your life — even better.
Negativity
Negativity often comes from your reaction to stress. Learning to manage your reaction to stress will improve your life. When you are negatively focused it’s detrimental to your health. You can’t be negative and grateful at the same time, so start your day with gratitude to make the biggest difference in your mental health and ridding yourself of negative attitudes. Appreciate — and communicate that to — at least one person a day. That gratitude and appreciation make your brain work better. Gratitude and appreciation create joy.
Negative thoughts create stress. One anti-stress helper is DHEA, an adrenal gland hormone, that is thought to contribute to your sense of well-being. When your DHEA levels are normal or greater, you may experience less brain damage from your negative thoughts. Negative thoughts also drain energy. Of course, side-tracking those negative thoughts also protects your brain, and your energy levels.
One way to change your negative thoughts is to learn to take control of them. Dr Daniel Amen (the psychiatrist I am studying The Brain Warrior’s Way from) uses the concept of killing the ANTS — automatic negative thoughts. He attributes ANTS with stealing your happiness and creating depression — and being feeble-minded and fat. To control those negative thoughts here are some effective steps to start taking:
▸ journal about them when you feel out of control or sad, mad, or nervous
▸ be sure to identify the negative thought
▸ talk back to those negative thoughts.
Don’t absolutely believe your thoughts.
Challenge Your Thoughts
Distorted thoughts drive illness and aging. Proactively wiping out those negative thoughts is a huge part of creating a healthy brain and life.
A trick that Byron Katie teaches in her class The Works is to ask yourself four questions when you find yourself with negative or distorted thoughts.
- Is it true?
- How can I absolutely know that it’s true?
- How do I feel when I have this thought?
- Who would I be without the thought?
One way to process the questions is to turn the thought around to its opposite to see if that is true, or even more true, than the original thought. Come up with three examples to support your turn-around thoughts. Part of the way to work on getting the answer to questions 1-4 is by treating it like a meditation to see what comes up for that question and answer. The goal of asking these questions and exploring the possibilities is for you to reach the truth.
Guide Your Feelings
Your thoughts direct your feelings. Each time you have a negative thought your brain releases damaging chemicals that make you feel bad, just as each time you have a positive thought your brain releases healing chemicals that make you feel good. Thoughts are automatic so feelings are automatic. And repeating a thought makes it easier to have that thought, making it a self-feeding mechanism. It’s as if thoughts, and thus feelings, mate — one creates two, two create five, and five create hundreds!
Thoughts can lie, so don’t automatically believe them; evaluate and consider them before you accept them. Make sure those mating thoughts and feelings are positive.
Here’s an example of how you can hurt yourself with your negative thoughts. When you focus on that thing you are angry about — be it an event or yourself — your brain activity drops and you make bad decisions. That’s counterproductive. When you focus on what you hate, you get confused and start making poor decisions. Stay in control of your anger and stay in control of your decision-making ability.
The example for how you can help yourself with your positive thoughts is that when you focus on being happy — be that about an event, with yourself or your health — your brain activity increases and you make good decisions. That sounds healthy! Focus on what you are grateful for and be clear-minded and making good decisions. Your brain works better when you are positive. Your joy and energy are higher when you are positive.
Several of my clients have “known” they were “too fat” to do any exercise. With that kind of attitude they were right: that they couldn’t exercise until they decided they could. One client decided to swim with her dogs for exercise. Another decided to watch TV while riding her stationary bike. And another is using the treadmill to get walking into her life. Each client was challenged with a minimum time to start their activity on a daily basis. They all report a better sense of self and fitness. They all overcame the negative thoughts that kept them from exercising.
Focusing Your Attention
Where you focus your attention determines how you feel and how your brain works. Are you going to choose a better working brain? How you feel also impacts your levels of joy and energy.
A common attention focus challenge I see trap people is the negative tapes they play — and believe. I hear them say things like “I’m stupid” or “I’m fat”. They then proceed to do things that support those negative thoughts. People who think and say they are stupid may turn decisions for their lives over to someone else, or give up the moment they hit a challenge instead of striving to work through the challenge.
When you think and say you are fat, you focus your attention there and your brain works to comply so you make choices that create that reality. You eat foods that contribute to weight gain and ill-health, or avoid exercise because you don’t want to be seen at the gym in your over-sized body. Be positive and turn that thought experience around by saying “I’m smart, I can figure this out”. Focus your mind there and it will overcome to figure out whatever it was that stumped you. Or, you could say “I’m healthy and will make healthy choices” and proceed to choose healthy food and exercise options that create their healthy body.
Be A Thought Whisperer
Undisciplined thoughts are a major cause of depression, panic, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), obesity, ill-health, and aging. Undisciplined thoughts lead to a life of low joy and energy too. You don’t have to be stuck with any of those realities! Discipline your thoughts by protecting your brain and your body (yep, and your joy and energy too).
Yes, this can be difficult if you’ve developed life-long habits to nurture endless negativity. It’s a big part of what I work on with my coaching clients: breaking those bad habits that are in your way as much as the icebergs that hampered the Titanic. Sometimes the results are just as tragic. You can change these patterns and choose joy and energy over a grumpy malaise. And the work to get there is extremely gratifying!
There are two easy ways to help your thought discipline efforts: hydration and proper nutrition.
Hydrate by simply drinking enough water. Most people don’t drink enough and are chronically dehydrated. Proper hydration leads you to have more focus, clarity, memory, and higher energy. Those are great elements of a disciplined mind, which generates disciplined thoughts. With proper hydration you also maintain your coordination and strength, and spacial awareness so that you can have better agility and muscle control (that’s one way to protect your brain: not falling and hitting your head).
To enjoy proper nutrition, avoid foods that hurt your brain. Choose foods that help your brain. D’uh…! Avoid alcohol, low fiber foods, and high glycemic foods like breads, pasta, white potatoes, rice, and (especially!) sugar. Choose “brain foods” like avocados, apples, berries, beans, broccoli, cauliflower, cherries, coconuts, green tea, oranges, olives, red peppers, salmon, spinach, tomatoes, and walnuts.
Here are some food rules I’ve gotten from the Amens in The Brain Warrior’s Way that might help you improve your eating habits, one step at a time.
▸ Fiber and water help fill you up, and regulate digestion and health.
▸ Protein and healthy fat make you feel full, focused and lean.
▸ Sugar makes you feel fat and foggy-headed.
▸ Supplements turbo-charge your success. Take a good multi-vitamin, D3, Omega-3, and probiotics.
▸ Vegetables are your “great bargain” food in that they are low calorie and high nutrition.
▸ Choose a salad with protein over a sandwich.
▸ Eat vegetables instead of rice.
▸ Use lettuce and coconut wraps instead of bread when you do want a sandwich.
▸ Make muffins and healthy treats without sugar for that extra bit of satisfaction and reward.
In the rush to avoid fat, the absolutely mistaken notion conceived to slim Americans down, food manufacturers substituted sugar instead. Look at the result: 50% of Americans are dangerously overweight. It’s hard to avoid in processed foods these days, so this is an area to start on with baby steps. Avoid buying as many processed foods as you can, read labels to get as clean a food as possible. Sugar is literally poison to your brain and body, so make a conscious effort to cut down on it in your foods.
Other Brain Protection
Chemicals that hurt your brain, and thus affect your level of disciplined thoughts, are obviously to be avoided. I know that sounds like a no-brainer, excuse the pun, but maybe you aren’t as dedicated to avoiding these as would benefit you. Organic solvents and carbon monoxide are bad news for your healthy brain, and body.
Sleep is another area, as I keep mentioning, to focus on for better brain function, body health, and for better disciplined thoughts. For more details, read The Secret to Better Sleep.
Change happens by taking conscious steps, not by itself. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to overcome the natural tendency to avoid doing those things you feel you have low ability and motivation to do. Work towards having a high motivation for doing things that you find easy to do — the zone you will take action in. And get help when you need it.
Can Do
Take note of any mistakes you make along the path of change so you can learn from them, thus making fewer mistakes along the way. When your motivation for change is high you can do “hard” things. When your motivation is low, not all is lost because you can do one easy thing at a time. Start with making tiny habit changes…taking baby steps in your growth. Pick one new habit — walk 3-4 minutes a day, drink 1-2 more glasses of water per day, eat 1/3 less sugar or wheat each day — and celebrate the wins. When you are comfortable with that progress, raise your challenge to the next level. This approach will boost your sense of competence and accomplishment, and that feeds more progress and growth.
Adopt a healthy, will-do mindset. When you bump into resistance to personal change, or a flat-out brick wall, ask yourself a few questions.
▸ Ask, or remind yourself, why you want to be healthier.
▸ Tell yourself there is no failing, only learning from mistakes.
▸ Focus on taking one step at a time; when you have succeeded at that step 80-90% of the time during the week, consider that a win.
▸ Celebrate your wins.
▸ Aim for 95% compliance with your new habits.
Work to optimize and heal your brain by caring for your brain, avoiding things that hurt it, and doing things that help it. What helps your brain helps your heart and the rest of you body. Balance your four buckets — Health, Wealth, Work, and Play — of life to support your brain health. This is what masters in life do, what captains of ships do. That’s how you create and live a joyful and energized life. That’s how you are vital, productive, and alert.
Finally, if you need help getting it done, bring in a coach to work with you. You’re still the captain of your ship. Use a navigator who will guide you by pointing out obstacles and steering better course options toward your goal. It sure beats getting hung up on those icebergs and rocks!