If The Shoe Fits

The ugly stepsisters learned that they couldn’t put their feet in the glass slipper, despite the handsome prince’s best efforts. Cinderella had no problem putting her foot into the slipper, though, because for her it was a perfect fit.

Life is like that — some things fit, and some don’t. Learning new lessons and habits, and ways of living, and working follow that same pattern — some things fit, and some don’t. I know that’s been true for me. Sometimes I’m the ugly stepsister and can’t get my feet into the slippers, no matter how handsome the prince is — or how much I want those slippers. That makes me feel fat and ugly. Sometimes I’m the beautiful Cinderella, though, slipping right into those glass shoes.

Being the ugly stepsister is exhausting. My energy drains straight away. I bet the same is true for you.

You’ve been taught a wide array of approaches to be healthier, more productive, happier, more fit, and on it goes. Right? Yeah, me too. We somewhat self-select the “handsome prince” to deliver the message so we naturally are Cinderella, fitting the message being delivered. But, not always.

How can we learn new ways of living and working without falling prey to becoming the ugly stepsister? How can we take the glass slipper the handsome prince is offering us and finding a way of making it fit without breaking it or hurting ourselves?

The challenge is to hear the message and receive the message so we learn the new habit or lesson, while maintaining our true nature. And the challenge is to learn so that we can grow and improve, while maintaining our true nature.

You may wonder what I’m talking about. Let me share some examples to help you better understand how you can choose the right glass slipper so it will fit you every time.

Lesson 1: “Don’t check email the first three hours of your day so that you tend to personal habits (self-care habits) and your most productive and creative work.” Brilliant….for morning people. That advice works for me, the lark in the family. But my husband, the owl, doesn’t wake up until noon, no matter when he gets out of bed. If he tried to follow that lesson — of being productive early in the day — he’d feel like an ugly (and grumpy) stepsister. Some of his most productive work hours are in the late evening after I am in bed — the house is quiet, and the phone doesn’t ring. The message to learn from this lesson example is to figure out when your productive and creative energies are strongest and do your productive and creative work then.

Carving time out for self-care, like meditating, exercise, quiet time, or time with your pets, is important to do. To make sure you have that time built into your day, schedule it and do it. Letting it happen by chance will tend to mean it won’t happen at all. It’s also important to fit the concept into your style and needs, rather than fitting your style and needs into the concept. The intention of the lesson is to be personally and professionally productive, not the specific hours to do those things.

Lesson 2: “Eat three meals per day.” What if you need 6 little meals per day, or your body does better on two meals per day? Do you listen to your physical needs, or the rule made by someone who doesn’t know you and your situation? This lesson’s message is to eat healthfully, and listen to your body for guidance.

Yes, there’s scientific proof that people are healthier with three meals per day. And there’s scientific evidence that fasting once or twice a week is healthy, which means you wouldn’t eat three meals in a day. Which scientific evidence do you listen to? It’s my theory that you listen to your body rather than scientific evidence that could be spun or twisted to make a point the author has an interest in.

Lesson 3: “Drink eight eight-ounce glasses of water each day.” That all depends, don’t you think? How active are you, what’s your climate and elevation, and how big are you? Those factors impact how much water you should drink — whether you need to drink more or less than the recommended amount. Also, is it water you need to drink, or will any liquid do?

Where did that recommendation come from? I’ve heard suggestions ranging from drink when you are thirsty to six liters of water daily. Oh, man…more confusion!

The logic is that our bodies are 67% water (our brains are more like 80% water) and that percentage needs to be maintained through our daily consumption. Water does play an important role in your body’s functions — flushing waste products, keeps some tissues and organs moist, helps dissolve nutrients so they are accessible to the body, regulates body temperature, and it helps the blood do its work of carrying oxygen and “food” to all the body’s cells. Does it take water to accomplish that goal, or will coffee do the job? What if you have a medical condition that influences how much water you consume? You follow your medical condition’s guidelines, that’s what.

When you try to fit others’ guidelines, or dictates, of how to live and work, you are like the ugly stepsisters. You can try, but it’s not comfortable, and ultimately doesn’t work. You owe yourself more than that. Learn to listen to you inner knowing and follow that guidance. Be you, the best possible you.

One challenge I find for myself, and see or hear others discuss, is the accuracy of listening to that inner knowing one often has. How accurately can you hear your body, or that inner knowing? Sometimes it takes tests to tell you what’s really going on and what you should do. Other times your desire for something, or your ego, overrides the decision to act on what’s best for you.

Do your best. Test and experiment with what works for you. Honestly evaluate the results of the experiments and tests.

One overlooked barometer for the decisions you make in life and actions you take is your energy level. It takes awareness and honesty to gauge your energy level. Right living creates a strong energy level. When you don’t honor your true self, you also create an energy leak. Plug that leak! Be true to yourself.

Are you going to insist on fitting into glass slippers that come your way? Or, will you follow your inner guidance and be true to who you are and what you want in life? Figure out what works for you.