There is a time to go with the flow, and a time to focus. You balance your day and life with those decisions, right? If not, we need to talk.
By “flow” I mean sticking with the status quo of habits and choices you make in life. Flow also reflects a laid-back attitude regarding dealing with life’s “speed bumps”, and with group process and decisions. By “focus” I mean applying your attention and actions to get the results you seek. Focus can happen at the cost of other areas/aspects of your life.
Going with the flow is a wonderful style to have. When you create habits, by repeated and consistent action, you don’t have to think about taking that action anymore. That conserves brain energy, and that’s good for your overall energy too. When you are mellow enough to not react, especially with high energy and maybe drama, to situations you don’t have any control over, that’s a healthy attitude.
Sometimes going with the flow means taking the path of least resistance, sometimes it means going along with what others are doing, and sometimes it means doing what you have “always” done because it’s easy or fun. Going with the flow generally means not having to think much about what you are doing, and that’s very comfortable.
Then, there’s focus. It can get narrow enough that you ignore various areas of your life. That’s not a healthy approach to life. For maximum energy, you are better served by pulling fairly evenly from all four buckets (health, wealth, work, and play) of your life. If you get too focused you forget the other buckets, or you at least don’t pull from them equally. That’ll sap your energy and health in the long run, even if the focus is on a “healthy” activity like a sport or exercise program.
Focus sure helps you get things done and learn new skills and knowledge. Focus on one topic or issue can steal your balanced life, if you aren’t careful. It’s interesting to learn to balance your life and keep control on your level of focus so that you can enjoy all that life has to offer you.
On the other hand….
If you are so set in your habits that you can’t change, or even see the need for a change, you’re too entrenched in your flow. Or, if like your flow too much to make an effort to change, even when you see the need for it, you are again letting habits rule your life. Your habits shouldn’t be what control you, because that makes you a slave to your habits. That can get you into trouble at some point in your life. Life is change. Habits are stable and slow to change. It’s important for you to change as needed, and keep up with the modern world, be that in technology, health, or thinking.
When you want or need to make a change, it’s time to focus and give up the habits and choices you enjoy flowing with. Well, you don’t exactly have to necessarily give them up, but you very well need to modify them and make them work for you.
Focusing can mean taking the hard path with lots of resistance, taking your path alone, and doing something new and different because it means being able to reach the goal you have set for yourself or accepted. To focus you have to commit to the goal, and the steps necessary to get there.
Focusing means having to think about each step, taking action, and even being uncomfortable at times; that’s how new habits are formed, or old habits are modified. Newsflash: we don’t all focus on the same things! That kind of focus directs our hobbies, studies, TV watching, and even spending patterns. The first vivid lesson I had for that was in college.
Focus
One of my college roommates came from a hiking and camping family was an avid hiker and camper herself; that’s how she spent her time and where she spent her allowance. I loved to hike and camp but didn’t come from a family with that mindset so didn’t spend much money for that gear. But, my mom taught me her love of good clothes, and that’s where I spent my allowance. One day my roommate lamented she didn’t have money for clothes the way I did. Later I realized her disposable income was for hiking and camping gear, equaling (or exceeding) my expenses on clothes. An additional lesson I got from that experience was that since then I’ve attempted to not say things like “I can’t afford that”, rather saying “I’d rather spend my money a different way”.
Flow
Another go with the flow or focus lesson was when we traveled with some friends on an extended vacation. My husband has a business that requires a bit of attention from him every day, and especially on deadline days, so it was understood that he would be tied up at least a bit every day. I had just signed up for a business challenge course and had a bit of homework to do around that, so I too had some commitments during vacation.
The friends seemed quite understanding and accepting of our work commitments and did their own thing while we worked. It would have been really easy to “go with the flow” and blow off my work commitments and play with our friends in the paradise we’d chosen for holiday. However, I chose to stay focused, even if it had meant teasing by our friends. I really wanted to learn what the class had to offer, and going with the flow wouldn’t have supported my desire.
Resisting Focus
As I have continued to learn about joy, energy, health, nutrition, and exercise I have shared my findings with friends (and anyone who will listen). Some of my friends are on the same path and get a kick out of sharing discoveries and successes. Others are less committed to full joy, energy and health, and they cherry pick the elements of living in focused energy it takes to be fully engaged. I know, I know — everyone gets to live their life their way.
What’s interesting to me, though, about how others choose to live their lives is how they can be focused and dedicated to a sport, hobby, art, work project, or whatever and think nothing of the “sacrifices” and hours required for them to master that interest. Yet, when evidence is presented to help them overcome a specific energy or health issue, they balk saying that it’s too hard, that they feel as if they are sacrificing or denying themselves, or that they don’t believe the evidence.
The balking at changing habits that are working against you strikes me as a “go with the flow” attitude that doesn’t serve you. We all justify our behavior in creative and convincing ways, when we want to. I see the challenge as being finding ways to want as much for our joy, energy, and health as we do for our interests like a sport, hobby, art, work project, or whatever.
Why do you settle for less than the best for yourself? Why aren’t you doing everything you can to be fully engaged in a joyous, energized, healthy life? I hear you answer that it’s hard to change. I’ll challenge you right back that it’s hard to be “sick” — less than joyous, lethargic, and unhealthy. Do you want to do something that’s hard that keeps you “sick” (or makes you sicker), or do you want to do something that’s hard that makes you “well” — joyous, energetic, and healthy? With a little, or maybe a lot of focus you can have a “well” life.
Going with the flow could be your path to a life that’s less than wonderful. Focus could be your path to a life that’s fully wonderful.
Are you tired of aching and hurting, being out of shape and breath, and feeling sluggish? Are you going to choose to keep going with the flow and suffering in whatever way you are?
Do you yearn to get active and feel healthier? If so, do you want to focus to that end and create new, healthy habits? Now’s the time. And I can help you through my coaching — either the free strategy session or the full-on package.
Are you going to keep aching and go with the flow you know, or are you going to start thriving and focus on living healthier? It’s your choice: go with the flow or focus? Focus? Or flow?