In what areas of your life do you have something that makes you unhappy, deeply unhappy? And of those areas, what makes you most unhappy? What are you doing about those bits of your life?
What more can you do to alleviate or change those bits of unhappiness? Do you believe that you can change from unhappy to happy, or at least to neutral? If you believe that, are you acting on it? If you don’t believe that, why not?
You choose your emotions and your reactions to life’s events. You can choose to let life get you down or beat you down. Or you can choose to rise above life’s events that you don’t like. Haven’t you noticed that in life? You choose happiness and don’t argue with that notion. Can you accept that you choose unhappiness, too?
This subject always brings to mind to me the story about the two kids who had everything, and reacted to their lives in differently. One year for the little boy’s birthday, his parents filled his room with the latest and greatest of toys, candy, and diverse delights. When he went into the room he hissed in fury, “I asked for a train and all I got were these toys, candies, and delights!” and stormed out in a rage. That same year, for the little girl’s birthday, her parents filled her room with horse manure. When she went into the room she squealed in delight, “Oh, with all this manure there must be a pony in here somewhere!” and commenced digging to find the pony.
What a great story to depict what I’m talking about: we choose our reactions and emotions.
Life will always throw curve balls at us, put obstacles and tripping hazards before us, and even pull the rug out from under us. It’s our reaction to those events that makes us happy or unhappy.
Salt makes snails unhappy, so they avoid it to their best ability. They intuitively understand the unhappiness called salt will kill them, and just as intuitively pull away when their paths cross. The things, be they events or attitudes, that make you unhappy are your salt.
Do you have even as much intelligence and self-mastery over your life as a snail does? Assuming you do, then you know to pull away from those things that make you unhappy. You can pull away physically or emotionally.
It seems to be a socially acceptable behavior, or social norm, to allow unhappiness to be in your life, to control it, even. That doesn’t make any sense to me. Does it to you? But given that it is the norm, and even acceptable, you fall prey to allowing unhappiness to exist in your life, even to reign your life.
If you are unhappy having unhappiness in your life but don’t know what to do about it, let me ask you some questions to help guide your actions. Can you commit to removing unhappiness from your life? Have you thought about what you can do to start changing the habits that welcome unhappiness in your life? What you can do start changing your attitude and your environment that support unhappiness?
Removing unhappiness doesn’t change your reality, only your reaction to your reality. You may find, however, that some of your reality is conjured to support your unhappiness and isn’t as bad as you think.
It takes time and practice to rid yourself of the habit of unhappiness, and that starts with the decision to make the change. Committing to choosing happiness over unhappiness is truly the first step. Figuring out what “happiness habits” you can replace your “unhappiness habits” with is important. The answer to what you can do lies within you. Tap that answer and let your commitment help you move forward to a life of happiness.
Next time someone asks you what areas of your life you are unhappy about, you can surprise them with your answer of, “Not much.” Then be prepared to tell them how you removed unhappiness from your life.