The Power of Labels

You define your world with labels. You define those around you with labels. You define yourself with labels. Labels are powerful — be careful how you use them: they can make or break your attitude and energy.

World Labels
As a freshman in college my bicycle was stolen from my dorm hallway while my roommate and I cleaned our room. I was lucky to get my bicycle back. I was luckier to learn a valuable “Labeling” lesson. A Hispanic guy (fellow student) had taken the bike. I was prejudiced against Hispanics for some time after that because of his actions.

I didn’t like seeing my attitudes about people change because of one person. That realization helped me refocus my attitude so that I didn’t lump lots of wonderful people into my anger at him. Time melted that anger so he’s not even the subject of my ire, and hasn’t been in decades. Hispanics didn’t steal my bike — one guy did, and he happened to be Hispanic.

That label sure consumed a lot of my energy for awhile there.

Accuracy in your labeling is important so that your attitudes correctly reflect the world and shape your attitude about the world you are describing and living in.

Better yet, minimizing your labeling lets you see people for all that they are, and can be. That’s energizing for them, and for you, rather than taking energy.

 

Labels on Others
On a dare my husband and I took a Mensa test. Mensa is the “high IQ society” — smart people, to label them. We’d been speaking at Mensa conventions and one of the organizers felt we were Mensa material, but I wasn’t sure I’d even fit into the group — or wanted to. I’d long thought people in Mensa were geeks who played word and number games, and had minimal social skills. Like my collection of labels?!

Since our interactions with a variety of people at the conventions were favorable we took the exam — and passed! I bumped into a whole different collection of labels when I added to my LinkedIn account that I was a Mensa member (yes, we joined the association). I was now labeled as a know-it-all, as in I must know everything about everything. Wrong!

Labels can help define your tribe, or circle of contacts and friends. They can be labels of praise or derision. But, labels can also often be narrow and limiting — and that’s what makes them a problem. Labels can come from believing stereotypes, not knowing or understanding the full background of someone’s life, or from your own life experiences and biases.

Labels put people in boxes. Boxes are simplistic. How do those labels drain your energy because of your “need” to defend them? And how do those labels affect impact the people you put them on?

 

Others’ Labels on You
I’ve had others apply labels to me that, until I saw what was happening and changed my reaction, brought me down. Sometimes I’ve quickly seen that the label didn’t feel good, or even apply, and was able to rise above the energy drain it created in me. Other times it’s taken me weeks to see what happened, come to grips with my reaction, and re-energize myself.

Sometimes positive labels, while feeling good, have encouraged me to feel cocky or superior. That’s limiting too. While the intended compliment of a label was meant well, my reaction wasn’t reasonable. Labels shouldn’t make us any more than they should break us. Letting the meaning of a label go to your head isn’t healthy.

Labels are part of how “tribes” are created, or identified. Tribes are great to be part of! We grow, connect, and feel understood with “our people”. The trick is to not let the tribe’s label “get you”. You aren’t superior or inferior because of the tribe label. You are more than the tribe, just as you are more than the label.

Seeing how others’ labels impact my psyche, it’s reasonable for me to expect my labels on others impacts them similarly, even if positive. I know we are all in charge of our own reactions to the world, but I still want to tread carefully and not cause others to have more challenges than they already do. I want to limit my label applications. I want my words to lift people, not box them in.

 

Your Labels on Yourself
Probably my most damaging self label I’ve applied to myself is “I’m not a good businesswoman”. Never mind that I have been successfully self-employed for over 27 years — that seems to be beside the point. When I decided to change the focus of my career, the ensuing three year hiatus didn’t help my self image.

In hindsight, those limitations I bought into contributed to me losing passion for my previous career as a bed and breakfast consultant and broker. The number of four- and five-star B&Bs I’d coached filled my resume. The number of people I helped realize their dreams of owning and operating an inn filled my heart. But somehow all of that wasn’t enough.

I wasn’t successful by others’ definitions of success: my income level, my website traffic, how aware the world was of me, the number of books I’d published — all fell below others’ ideas of what made for a successful businessperson. And I bought into those limitations for a long time. I’d caged myself with negative labels.

Attending Brendon Burchard’s High Performance Academy in March 2015 let me see the cage I’d put myself into and open its door so I could fly free again. I can still feel that surge of power and self recognition! What a moment when I opened that cage door, stepped out into the doorway, and stretched my wings.

I’m back!

The most damaging labels of all are probably the labels you apply to yourself. As you restrict who others can be, or how they are seen, when you apply labels to them, you do the same to yourself — only more so. You are more critical and unforgiving of yourself than others, most of the time, and that takes a lot of energy.

Since you can be so much more than who you are, and more than a label acknowledges, be careful of the labels you apply to yourself. If you think too highly of yourself, you limit your growth in that area. If you think too lowly of yourself, you discourage growth there too. The labels you apply reflect all the ways you put yourself in boxes, the ways you limit yourself, and the ways you don’t embrace yourself fully.

Your energy is connected to your acceptance, your growth, and your freedom. When you avoid self labels you reflect self acceptance. When you embrace yourself you support your growth. When you don’t box yourself in you have the freedom to be yourself in myriad ways. Those all support a strong energy.

Strong energy keeps you going through the day, allows you to be productive, and generates alertness. Living label free supports an energetic life.

I vote for the energetic life!